BFFs and frenemies are one of the best…and worst…things about being a teen. What you might not realize is that they’re also possibly one of the highest risks you’ll ever face. Why? Because it may seem like those never-ending text conversations and tweets back and forth are trivial rumblings, but new research reveals that they’re influencing everything from mental health, to career paths, to how you approach relationships with guys. Do your friends draw you closer to Jesus? Or closer to the boy-crazy train? Let me be honest with you, there is no middle ground.
Here are three things you need to ask yourself about your friendships if you value sexual purity.
Divorce. Death. Workaholism. His woundedness. Even some of the most godly dads can inadvertantly be busied beyond reason in their service for God, leaving their daughter’s heart lonely. What’s taken your dad away from you? I can’t imagine the hurt, but I’ve cried through a story or two and had a front row seat to both the devastation…and the healing. And there HAS to be healing because being without your dad physically or emotionally dramatically increases your risk of having your heart broken in relationships with guys and the temptation to sin sexually. Here are four things you need to know.
One of the most critical on-going conversations mothers can have with their daughters is on the topic of sexuality. My head spins with all the risk and hope that teeters on the existence of such a dialogue. Let me share the best news first: the number one risk-reducer for your daughter is parent/child connection. What you think about sex informs her view of it, and what you communicate about sexual risk and sexual theology helps to steer her towards healthy choices. You’re that powerful, Mom.
Most girls I’ve spoken with wish their mom would bring the subject up more often.
Most moms I’ve spoken with feel insecure about talking.
Let me fuel your interest by sharing these top ten reasons why every mom must talk about sex early and often. They aren’t pretty, but remember talking about sex reduces the risk and puts you in a place to reduce the pain if any does come your daughters direction.
I’m tickled silly pink to partner with Cedarville University to bring you an all-new event for teen girls and their moms who want to grow closer to each other and closer to Christ. It’s also going to be a great event for women who lead youth groups to bring girls to in an effort to reduce boy-craziness and facilitate God-crazy leaders in your church. (We have group rates just for you.)
On-line dating is a $2.5 billion industry and with mediums like Seventeen magazine (largely read by middle school girls) introducing on-line dating to teens. That’s nuts! It’s imperative that we talk to teen girls about delaying virtual dating. I, in fact, advocate delaying the real thing, too. As the creator of Secret Keeper Girl, (Hi, I’m Dannah Gresh if we haven’t met) I’m always encouraging girls not to be boy-crazy but to be God-crazy. Moms and youth leaders who agree will want to get their tickets to my eight-city tour this fall. The Get Lost Tour is based on this sentence from my latest book for teen girls: “A girl needs to get so lost in God that a guy has to seek Him to find her.”
While I don’t think a lot of Christian teens and middle school girls are using eHarmony or Match.com, it’s a conversation parents need to begin to have. If you just let your daughter or mentee follow the normal pattern of dating, she’ll jump on the boy crazy train and get lost in the wrong kind of love. This tour is a call to parents, youth pastors, and godly teens to join forces to cultivate God-crazy young women who are lost in Christ’s love.
Stephanie Skipper grew up under my ministry. She toured as a part of the Secret Keeper Girl team prior to kicking off her solo career. Having her and Tim be a part of this tour is very meaningful me. She waited for Tim. It had its ups and downs, but getting lost in God’s love helped her have staying power. She’s a great role model for today’s teen girls—one I want my own daughters to follow—and today’s girls need good role models.
Here are a few details about the event. I hope you’ll join me!
Your daughter will love the worship band we’ve put together to help her enter in the presence of God. Our worship team doesn’t just lead worship, it teaches teens to worship and invites them in with skill and interaction!
We know that open hearts are a great place to plant biblical truth, so we use interactive contests and games to get the audience laughing. Charmaine Porter will even get some moms and daughters on stage to win prizes!
SOLID BIBLE TEACHING ON GOD’S LOVE & PURITY
I will open the word of God and challenge your daughter to be God-crazy not boy-crazy. Your daughter will be invited in to an on-line ten-day love feast (through my blog or social media if she is old enough to be on Facebook) in which teen girls take guys off the table and enter in to an on-line international devotional experience with other God-crazy girls across the nation to grow in their love for Christ as they wait in faithful purity for his plan concerning earthly love to be revealed one day.
What’s one of my events without a modest fashion show? But this one is like none other! We’ve designed something special and fun to remind your daughter to work on her inner garments and to let nothing distract from the good works she does.
The event targets 13-17 year olds and is appearing in the following cities in November 2014 and is powered by Cedarville University who will be offering multiple giveaways throughout the night!
Be sure to get a VIP ticket so you and your daughter can join me for dinner and a bonus teaching. (Those tickets are limited so get them early.) See details below.
General admission provides general seating to live event with doors opening one hour in advance. The goal of the night will be to ask each attendee to join with me in a ten-day love feast in which guys are taken off the table and girls are invited to feast on God’s love together. I’ll will use the Internet to provide daily devotions and worship music videos to guide girls through the love feast. We’re going to turn the Internet into a good tool, fostering love for Christ through daily spiritual meat and a call to love God. A bonus of the night is drawing moms and daughters closer to each other, too.
VIP admission includes a back stage tour featuring my team’s tour bus, advance seating, private autograph session with me and Copperlily, and dinner with either me or Copperlily. I will have dinner with the mothers and present this can’t-be-missed bonus teaching: “How To Raise Sexually Pure Kids”, a workshop sponsored by Cedarville University. Copperlily will have dinner with the teen daughters and present an acoustic song to them and then answer Q&A’s. I know some girls will want to ask about their music, Nashville, and the industry but I’m going to be pushing the questions to be about their relationship. There’s no better example of a God-directed love than Tim and Stephanie Skipper. They are great role models for today’s teen girls!
I said goodbye to my virginity when I was fifteen.
How old were you? If you had it to do over again, would you wait? I would. I knew none of the physical consequences of choosing to have sex early, but I was depressed. I felt like I’d given something precious away and could never have it back. That’s why I’ve devoted my life to spreading the idea that sex is worthy of something more than a casual hookup. Is that a message you want to share with your daughter? Little sister? A friend you’re trying to mentor? Read on, because the news today is better…and worse…than when you were a teenager and I have seven secrets that will reduce the risk in the teen girl you love.