“Masturbating will make you go blind.” So goes the old myth. (Many myths prevail surrounding masturbation. The most interesting may have been perpetuated by Dr. John Harvey Kellogg who thought that a proper diet would alleviate a man’s desire to masturbate, and so he fed men under his care in a mental institution a special cereal he created. Kellogg didn’t curb masturbation, but did become a cereal giant and many of us still eat Corn Flakes today with no impact on our sexual desires.)
Recently, my husband and I were having dinner with a couple we greatly respect. The man is a well-studied theologian and beloved pastor. During a conversation about the overall crisis of purity in the Church at large, he referenced a Bible verse that made me wonder: “Is the notion that masturbation causes blindness really a myth after all?” I’d like to share that verse with you today, but first let’s take a look at masturbation and ask the question: Is it a sin?
Imagine being forced to vacate your home. Darkness is upon your city and the mayor of your city tells you to get out. Get out now! The city is one violent scream of grief as death spreads through a never-before-seen sickness. You sense God’s peace, but also feel the palpable fear as the entire city rises in chaos to run. This has not been a happy stop in your journey of life, so you are glad to go but didn’t expect it to be so sudden. You pack in haste with not even a moment to consider where you will go, but knowing your departure will be permanent. You try to think clearly. You grab clothes, blankets, a few family treasures, and food for the journey.
Time is not on your side as the cries grow louder and more urgent. Get out now! Your spirit joins in the mantra certain that the window of opportunity may be closing.
And then you remember something you need not forget! You run for it as a family member calls from outside, “We have to go now!”
“Just wait,” you plead. “I must have one more thing.”
So you know when someone comes to you and asks you something and says, “I’m asking for a ‘FRIEND’…” Well, today I have a question like that for you. How many of your “girlfriends” are on the boy-crazy train? I’m talking about the kind of college girl who tries guys on like a pair of jeans, discarding them casually and moving on to the next one if they just don’t fit. And I’m also talking about the middle school girl who has never had a boyfriend but thinks she’s less because of it. There’s a broad spectrum when it comes to being a boy-crazy girl. And most people think it’s just normal.
What if I told you that it’s not a very good place to be if you want to live a life of purity? You see purity is not a line you cross or do not cross, contrary to public discourse. I know many girls who are not virgins who are anything but pure. The way they live their lives is full of sensuality, lust, and lack of self-control. I also know many girls who are not virgins and have stood before God and said, “God teach me to live a life of purity.” The current direction of their lives is purity. And see that’s what I think purity is…it’s a direction. The book of Philippians says we can “become” pure and blameless. This speaks of a direction.
So which direction are you headed?
There’s a saying that goes like this: “every great love story ends in tragedy.” Consider Romeo and Juliet. They throw caution to the wind to be together and make easy, heart-defining choices to have secret moments of bliss against their family’s wishes. In the end, they commit suicide because their relationship is opposed. It’s an applauded classic love story, but where’s the sunset? Where’s the happily ever-after? And where’s their pulse? It’s not the kind of love story you want to have your name in it.
What kind of love story are you writing with your life?
My best-selling book And the Bride Wore White is full of what I call celebration stories. Some are stories of brides who never kissed before their wedding day and others are stories of brides who were sexually broken before they graduated highschool. How can they all be celebration stories?
Let me tell you!
Girls, we can’t wear anything we want. God’s words says that if we love him, we will obey him and he wants us to wear certain things and not others. And HE…not the guy…is the ultimate reason we live modestly. I realize that all too many books on modesty & purity risk suggesting that if you’re just a good Christian girl who wears her chastity belt and a silver ring on her left index finger, your prince charming will come. Without even realizing it, you might make a deal with God: I’ll give my heart to You, and You send a husband my was. But RESPECT FOR GOD, not a guy is the goal. The point of modesty and purity is not to showcase yourself for a godly guy, but to showcase GOD to the world!