Can spiritual women also be sexually satisfied? It’s a sad question to have to ask, but the incomplete manner in which the Church has answered sexual questions does mandate that we discuss it.
If you’re one of my more modest followers, please don’t be disappointed but this article isn’t for you. However, if you’re a spiritual woman trying desperately to make sense of sexual desires and often finding answers outside of the Church, read on! I don’t want you to find yourself falling for counterfeits in the quest. A lot of women have. (And you could win a free book that will help if you keep reading.)
The sales of the Fifty Shades of Grey series has sold over 100,000,000 and the series has had a seat on the New York Times Best-seller list for 100 weeks straight. Now it will be a blockbuster in the movie theaters with Fandago presales setting records already. Let me be honest: the book has revived the sexual appetites of many women. But is that good?
I’d like to suggest that it’s not so great and that the best way to a vibrant sex life might just to become an “official church lady!”
Earlier this week, I opened my blog to moderate comments on a blog titled “Was Mary A Virgin?” Suddenly, I was being accused of “slut-shaming” for using the word virgin. What!? It was the VIRGIN Mary who I was writing about! The comments—including “This is slut shaming… Wrapped up in a pretty package” and “Such dialogue and scrutiny over a woman’s virginity (aka ‘purity’) only feeds into patriarchal-based slut shaming”—were just the crest of a wave of frustration I’ve heard all year long as those following me lament that the language of sexual purity is out of style. The big claim? The word purity has no efficacy. So, let’s put it on trial today and see where we land because as a leader in the Christian sexual theology conversation, I want to know: do you think we should stop using the word purity? But here’s the deal. The debate—which I expect may get heated— must lean first and foremost on the truth of sexuality as defined in the Bible, not the opinions of men and woman. What’s a good day in court without an opening argument? Here’s my three defenses of the word purity.
“We can determine with certainty that the virgin Mary was, in fact, not a virgin,” wrote one self-declared atheist. His was one of many blog posts and articles I found debunking the “myth” of Mary’s miraculous conception. Admittedly, some of the articles I read on this topic were written by respected religious scholars… even those published in Pulitzer Prize winning journals. A Christian pursuing an intelligent faith simply must stop to consider how incredibly ludicrous it is to believe that Jesus was born of a virgin. Yes, I said “ludicrous!” Fact: it’s not scientifically possible for a virgin to give birth. If the hair on the back of your neck is standing on end, relax. I’m going to offer you some intelligent faith-food to defend Mary’s virtue. Here are two fallacies unbelievers and even believers are embracing as evidence that Mary was not a virgin, and the logic to debunk them.
“There are probably more vicious white supremacists all over America today than there were in 1968 when Martin Luther King, Jr. was killed in Memphis, Tennessee.” I read that sentence one month before Michael Brown was shot in Ferguson, and it ignited something in my spirit so passionate that my pen became a sword in my hand as I scribbled words of war in the very pages where I found it. I don’t know who wrote more words on that page: John Piper (whose book I was reading) or myself. I only know that since July my spirit has been awakened to address the racial division in my world, but I’m afraid.
Our nation is ablaze.
The combustible matter of hearts wounded by racism has been kindled into fury. What could I possibly have to contribute? Here’s what I have to say: racism is a strike at the the heart of God’s intention for marriage.
Roughly forty six percent of high school students will engage in sexual intercourse before they graduate.[i] There is almost no difference in the percentage of students inside the church and those outside the church. Shouldn’t there be? This risky behavior is compounded by the fact that starting to have sex early equals a lot of sexual partners. The average number of partners a sexually active college girl has is 7.1. [ii] This increases the number of people to whom she becomes physiologically and spiritually bonded to, and decreases her ability to bond well with her spouse in future years.
Do you want to lead teen girls through a bible study so they can land on the right side of these stats? Do you deeply desire that your own daughter walk in sexual purity? We have a brand new resource to help you and it’s FREE. Let me tell you about it: