Urban dictionary dot com defines friends with benefits as “two friends who have a sexual relationship without being emotionally involved.”

But…scientifically…that’s impossible.

Let me introduce you to the deep limbic system.

The deep limbic system of your brain is the emotional center of you being. It, not your heart, is where your emotion is stored. This part of the brain also stores sexual memory. It gets tuned in to a splash of cologne, a great love song, and the physical act of sex. One of the nuerochemicals released during sex is dopamine. Dopamine makes you feel good; it creates a simultaneous sense of peace and pleasure. Anytime your body experiences pleasure—whether good or bad—the limbic system gets wash with this chemical, which causes you to crave more of what you just had. In essence, it creates addiction. Dopamine attaches you emotionally to the source of pleasure. Even if it’s “just a friend.” And there’s more.

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Go to this link for a sneak peak of the book.


Sex First, Then A Wedding

Photo of cross shaped grave stone reading "R.I.P."

“Bible characters didn’t wait until marriage to have sex, why should we?” I was recently faced with that question by a guy who doesn’t like me much. As a girl with a solid opinion about sexual purity, I have a lot of non-fans out there, and they ask very tough questions. One blogger, who calls himself “The Scott”, is a little more eloquent and well-thought out than others. I respect a good debate. The Scott, once posted this: “Sexual Purity” is dead! He then went on to reveal a few “dirty facts” that the “Christian Right” will never tell you about premarital sex in the Bible. I guess they were meant to be stumpers, but they didn’t stump me. In my first blog written specifically for the college women I know, I’m going to address his inquiries. (And let it be noted that this Christian is going to address the “dirty facts.” In fact, I’d like to honor The Scott with inspiration for the name of my new blog: Dirty Secrets Cleaned Up: Unashamed Answers About Sex, Beauty and Girlhood!)

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