Modesty Myth #3: Guys are off the hook.

LUSTThe feminine modesty texts are about sexual allurement and direct a woman to demonstrate self-control and respect in the way she presents herself. But does this mean men are off the hook? And am I saying that if women dress modestly, men will not lust.

Girls, it’s great if you read this, but today I want to talk to guys. And moms of guys. And girlfriends of guys. And sisters of guys. And any woman that can influence one.

If any guys happen to be reading this I should probably start with this: don’t dress like the Abercrombie guy and for the love of all things decent pull your pants up over your boxers!

(Imagine deafening eruptions of cheers from the women reading this!)

But that’s not what I really want or need to communicate today.

Because it’s not what God’s word instructs me to say.

Here’s what I really have to say, guys: your lust is your responsibility. Period.

Women could all dress in burlap sacks from their neck to their toes and if you are training yourself to think of them as sexual objects, you will. But if you are training yourself to think of them as sisters of value, you will.

Here is your modesty verse gentlemen:

“But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
Matthew 5:28 (ESV)

Guys, you are responsible for how you look at your Christian sister…and any other women.

I understand that you live in a culture that feeds you a constant IV drip of porn and sensuality! Your grandfathers did not struggle with lust in the same way that you do because they did not have to drive past Hooters or walk past Victoria’s Secret posters.

But that is not an excuse to give in to the lust and be like everyone else, it simply means you cannot be complacent.

A woman who is unaware of the Christian teaching on modesty should able to walk in front of you wearing anything and find herself PROTECTED by a godly man who has been feasting on the word of God so faithfully that his desire rises up give himself up for her.

Instead of “What can I get out of her?”

A godly man will say “What of myself can I give to protect her?”

Truth: Men are not off the hook and must train themselves to THINK modestly in a culture that is not.

Interested in more intelligent faith conversations on the topics of love, guys, and God? I’m on tour in February. I hope you’ll come spend an evening with me and Copperlily. Learn more here.

More on “men are off the hook” in this video below originally delivered at my alma mater Cedarville University.


Join me next week at this blog when we unravel another myth about modesty.

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