Modesty Myth #4: Modesty is about clothes.

WEARGirls, we can’t wear anything we want. God’s words says that if we love him, we will obey him and he wants us to wear certain things and not others. And HE…not the guy…is the ultimate reason we live modestly. I realize that all too many books on modesty & purity risk suggesting that if you’re just a good Christian girl who wears her chastity belt and a silver ring on her left index finger, your prince charming will come. Without even realizing it, you might make a deal with God: I’ll give my heart to You, and You send a husband my was. But RESPECT FOR GOD, not a guy is the goal. The point of modesty and purity is not to showcase yourself for a godly guy, but to showcase GOD to the world!

“I want women to be modest in their appearance. They should wear decent and appropriate clothing and not draw attention to themselves by the way they fix their hair or by wearing gold or pearls or expensive clothing. For women who claim to be devoted to God should make themselves attractive by the good things they do.” I Timothy 2:9,10 (NLT)

The point of I Timothy 2:9,10 is the “good things” we do. Like driving a friend to a job interview or helping mentor a tween. Or baking cookies for your RD or fighting sex trafficking by raising money. These things we primarily wear—our good works— make God known. They say, “look at God!”

But the verse DOES mention clothes, doesn’t it? Because God doesn’t want your super tight skinny jeans that look painted on to distract others from seeing the good works you’re wearing! It’s not “appropriate.”

The greatest sin of immodesty is not how short your skirt is.

 “The greatest sin of immodesty is that we’re saying “look at me” instead of “look at God.”

Men and women…. serve each other. Respect each other. Develop self-control!

Right about now some of you may be boiling with frustration. I understand that. When my publisher asked me to write my first book on modesty, Secret Keeper, over ten years ago I said “no.” I like fashion. There’s not a topic I less enjoy speaking about.

Because our hearts are so hard.
And people get mad at me when I speak about modesty.

Maybe that’s because so much of the teaching is focused on clothing and not the heart. While we can’t ignore the clothing issue, we certainly also cannot ignore that God is teaching us to dress our heart in beautiful things. It’s time to realign our teaching on modesty to reflect his.

Interested in more intelligent faith conversations on the topics of love, guys, and God? I’m on tour in February. I hope you’ll come spend an evening with me and Copperlily. Learn more here.

More on modesty in this video below originally delivered at my alma mater Cedarville University.

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1 Comment

  • So grateful for your work. The church is in rough shape with this and I’m so relieved there are others out there like my husband and I. Too often I see female leadership flaunting their bodies and the rest of the congregation following suit. Pastors, prophets, and apostles are not addressing this. I would love to connect with you sometime to get geared up to stand for Godliness without casting stones, but to speak truth. It’s very disheartening. The spirits underlying all the hypersexuality in the church are oppressive for modest women and men. We should welcome the unsaved and newly saved without condemnation. But our top leaders are themselves conducting themselves in very carnal ways and it’s sad.

    Thank you,
    Leigh Davenport

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