Still Not Reading Fifty Shades of Grey, But…



Spanking, hand cuffs and dirty talk that’d make a porn producer pull out his checkbook, Fifty Shades of Grey is scratching an itch in the spirits of women worldwide and now they have real faces to put with the names “Christian” and “Anastasia” as Dakota Johnson and Charlie Hunnam have been cast to star in the upcoming movie based on the book. Women defend the so called “mommy porn” claiming that it has revived their sex lives. “This book has helped a lot of marriages out there,” wrote one woman. Truly, it’s meeting a very real need.

But there is a danger involved in this method of rekindling passion., an extramarital affair dating site, discovered a 50% boost in members confessing to indulge in bondage role playing with lovers—not husbands and wives—, after reading the book. They claim 62% of all new members signed up because they were interested in trying BDSM (Bondage, Dominance, Sadism and Masochism), but feared their spouse would be shocked if they suggested it.

As I shared in my controversial blog,”I’m Not Reading Fifty Shades of Grey,” the book (and series that follow it) is a dangerous short cut to rekindling sexual passions. There is a better way. I still haven’t read the book, but I’ve written one! Dr Juli Slattery and myself have joined forces to “pull back the shades”. As author E.L. James tweets announcement of the stars selected to star in the movie adaptation of the book, we’re announcing an alternative to revive your sex life. Next year, Moody Publishers will release our co-authored book, Pulling Back the Shades, that clearly shares our concern and—most importantly—offers women a slower, steadier, but much more satisfying way to revive their sex lives.

We need a great sub-title to go with the title. If you’ll take just five minutes to review the options below and respond in the comments with a.) your most favorite subtitle and WHY and b.) your least favorite subtitle and WHY…then I’ll enter you into a randomly selected drawing in which you’ll win a copy of my most recent release Get Lost: A Girl’s Guide to Finding True Love. (My video series for that title began releasing this week!) I’ll select the winner at noon ET on Friday, September 6th.

Thanks for your help! Here’s the title with our sub-title options.

Pulling Back the Shades: A Sexual Awakening For Spiritual Women
Pulling Back the Shades: Exposing the Lure of Erotica
Pulling Back the Shades: Reviving more than your sex life.
Pulling Back the Shades: Uncommon Answers To Your Sexual Longings
Pulling Back the Shades: Spiritual Truth About Sexual Fiction
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  • I like the subtitle…exposing the lure of erotica.

    I think it would interest more then just the spiritual woman and therefore can speak volumes to more then just her “sexual needy” side.

  • I like “Pulling Back the Shades: Exposing the Lure of Erotica” best because it is specific to the need to of the women attracted to books like 50 Shades.

    A close second is “Pulling Back the Shades: Spiritual Truth About Sexual Fiction” but I think this one is more likely to reach women who have already decided not to indulge in erotic/pornographic reading.

    So I chose the first one, simply because it is more likely to reach those caught in that trap.

  • Like: Pulling Back the Shades: Exposing the Lure of Erotica

    I think more women will pick the book up based on this title.

    Dislike: Pulling Back the Shades: A Sexual Awakening For Spiritual Women

    I sounds like something my mother’s age bracket (60+) would read.

  • I like the first one best. The rest have a slight negative connotation. The first one is all about what the book can do for you, which might be appealing to people. Actually, the fourth one isn’t negative, but not as catchy.

    • I agree completely and was going to say the exact same thing.

      SN: I read the books. It did not spark my sex life in my marriage. It made me feel lonely and sex deprived in my marriage. I find myself angry mostly. 🙁

  • Wow. When I submitted my comment, I saw the other comments that were strongly in favor of “Exposing the Lure…” If that’s what the book does best, then definitely that should be the title.

  • My favorite subtitle is: Reviving more than your sex life. I like this because it implies that your sex life is not a boxed in area & that God is in ALL areas…

    My least favorite subtitle is: A sexual awakening for spiritual women. I dislike this title because I have many friends that are ‘spiritual’ but not Biblical Christian (I think it sounds ‘new age’)

  • Most Favorite: Pulling Back the Shades: A Sexual Awakening for Spiritual Women – because I think spiritual women tend to think they aren’t supposed to have a sexual awakening. It’s like a permission slip.

    Least favorite: Pulling Back the Shades: Reviving more than your sex life. To vague, boring, and not enough detail to draw you in.

  • I think I may be one of the only people in my circle of friends who share your view. Thank you for writing something to address this topic.

    I like Pulling Back the Shades: Spiritual Truth About Sexual Fiction.

  • Fave: Pulling Back the Shades: Reviving more than your sex life. ~ Uses only positives, puts no negative (wrong/guilt inducing) images in mind, shows that it is much more meaningful than just reviving sex life, shows that it will possibly revive sex life, most likely to be perused. (2nd fave: Spiritual Truth About Sexual Fiction)

    Least Fave: Exposing the Lure of Erotica because that Erotica word is so nasty with what it represents and any images it may conjure up. People don’t want to check out a book with that word on the cover. Same with “Longings” word and close with “Awakenings” – may sound prudish but who is audience. : )

  • Spiritual Truth About Sexual Fiction……..I know many Christian women who read those smut books and think nothing of it! It’s a problem!

    • Agree. Many women who read books that border on pornography and erotica do not believe that is what they are doing. This is a good option.

  • I really like what the other already wrote too… It comes down to who is the intended audience. Print with TWO titles… Exposing Erotica and also a more prudish title… capture them all! : )

  • I like the first one. Women are picking up the book (FSOG) because they’re missing something. The other subtitles about exposing the lure (worst subtitle) and the truth about fiction are more along the lines of, “Oh, no. Something ELSE Christians are against.” Christianity offers the best way, because our God is the Creator of our sexuality. Also, I think most Christian women really do know that “mommy porn” is bad for them. I don’t think they’ll pick up a book that will make them feel ashamed about it. I think, if you gave the titles a letter, my preference would be A, D, C, E, B.

  • i really like the title “Pulling Back the Shades: Exposing the Lure of Erotica”. I think this is the most catching title that will get people to read it, especially considering that book it is talking about.

  • I like Pulling Back the Shades: Spiritual Truth About Sexual Fiction it states simply what the heart of the book is about without the seedy need to put words like “Erotica” in there.
    My least favorite is Pulling Back the Shades: Uncommon Answers to your Sexual Longings or the Reviving More than Your Sex Life one

  • Well, if this book is going to be a draw for those of us who are spiritual women, who are pure-thinking and seeking, but still want an answer to how on earth we’re supposed to get some sort of input on how to rev up our OWN sex lives (Yes! Christian women DO have sex lives! Even exciting ones! Although, we know for a FACT he’ll be there in the morning!) I was more drawn to ‘Reviving More Than Your Sex Life’. It points to the fact that there’s more to it than sex alone. Sex alone without intimacy and love is empty, and that needs to be explained to these ‘desperate housewives’.
    Least favorite…well, it was a toss up…when you throw the words ‘spiritual’ and ‘longings’ you get this picture in your mind of willowy women dancing around in the fields with sun shining down on their faces, and truthfully…for ME anyway…that’s not a picture of my bedroom! Haha!! Lure of Erotica sounds a little harsh to me as well. Thanks for listening to my two cents 🙂

  • Like: Pulling Back the Shades: Spiritual Truth about Sexual Fiction. I feel like this title emphasizes the Truth over fiction which I think is key.
    Dislike: Pulling back the Shades: Exposing the Lure of Erotica. Whereas the word erotica will attract attention, I don’t think we should use shocking words just to grab people’s attention. I think the title Pulling back the Shades will grab people’s attention enough for a second look without having to use this subtitle.

  • The one that grabbed my attention and would likely get me to buy a copy of the book is “Pulling Back the Shades: Reviving more than your sex life”. My second choice would probably be “Pulling Back the Shades: Uncommon Answers To Your Sexual Longings”.

  • my first choice is “Pulling Back the Shades: Exposing the Lure of Erotica” because that’s what i think Fifty shades is about (not having actually read it, just reviews) and have seen it lure many a christian women into this is “ok”.

    my least favorite is “Pulling Back the Shades: Uncommon Answers To Your Sexual Longings” i just don’t really like the word longings in there.

  • “Pulling Back the Shades: A Sexual Awakening For Spiritual Women” is my favorite. I’m getting ready to do the new study “Passion Pursuit” and I think a “sexual awakening” is what many of us Christian women need in our marriages.

  • I like Pulling Back the Shades: Reviving more than your sex life. I think that it is so much more than just our sex lives it is also about our spiritual lives.

  • My favorite is: “Pulling Back the Shades: Uncommon Answers To Your Sexual Longings” To reach and speak truth to women who are attracted to “50 Shades of Grey” or have already read it, the title of this article needs to be non-judgmental and intriguing. I think this title fits the bill. Most of the other titles tip the reader off about the overall bent of the article. That means that those of us who have already committed to steering clear of “50 Shades..” will read it eagerly and “amen” it all the way, but it probably won’t reach those on the fence or those who have already read the book or plan to see the upcoming movie.

  • My first impressions: Sexual Awakening sounds like a college course psychology book. Reviving brings to mind a title you might read in a retired persons publication. Uncommon answers sounds like a medical self help book at Whole Foods. Spiritual Truth about Sexual Fiction best” is my favorite and I think conveys what I believe the topic to be about based on your blogs I’ve read. Too many Christian women I know are quite OK with R rated books (along with tv and movies) and don’t see the harm in them. These ladies don’t see themselves into “mommy porn” so I doubt they would feel that “Exposing the Lure of Erotica” was written for them. The title is definitely eye catching but too naughty sounding for a “good Christian woman” to read.

  • I have to agree with the title “Pulling back the Shades: Exposing the Lure of Erotica” because if that is what you are going to do, it is the most appealing argument. I also have to say, I don’t kno how you can write a book to refute Shades of Grey, if you haven’t read it….. In all fairness, I think you should read it to kno exactly what you are dealing with and also the underlying issues in the book with both the man and the woman’s trying to fill their needs. If you can do that, then you will be able to capture your audience both for those who have already read the book and those who haven’t. For, then you will be able to quote specifics and those who have already read it will go “oh yeah, I remember that….good point!” Those who haven’t read it will possible get enough insight into the book and think “OK, that makes sense! Thanks for the tip….now I don’t really think I need to read this book or see the movie.” Because, many women have seen this as a need and not an option….
    Honestly, I just don’t like any of the other choices for the title. They seem way too self righteous or know it all. I guarantee you that they will not reach the majority of the audience that need to read what you have to say.

    • I appreciate your concern Wendy. For that reason, Dr Juli Slattery DID read the book. She is a psychologist so we felt she’d be better able to analyze the underlying lures and longings that lead women into erotica addiction. I chose not to read it because I think that a woman can have an intelligent and useful opinion on something without experiencing it firsthand. (Being run over by a tractor trailer comes to mind!)

  • ….Oh, and if you do read the book, I would not go into it with a preconceived idea. I’m sure you would pray and ask God for an open mind. An open mind to His Spirit and the needs of a woman or a man that were given to us by God and how sin has distorted the answer….

  • I like Spiritual Truth about Sexual Fiction. I think it fits best in what you are trying to discuss. It opens the topic to both the spiritual woman who wants to open up more, as well as the open woman who (may not know she) craves a spiritual side.

  • I like the second one. It peaks curiosity….which is why a lot of women are picking up this “Mommy Porn”

    I don’t like the first title because it sounds a little New Age.

    I do like the last title, as well, because for Christians it does sound like it will have some Biblical truth to back up how we should filter what goes in.

  • I like #2 because it will draw all kinds of audiences-not just those who consider themselves spiritual.

    And no. I will not be going to see the movie or ever reading the book.

    I’d love to see this play out in something we can share with our teen girls, Dannah. Who knows what’s after Fifty Shades, as we’ve seen, anything goes.

  • I like #2 the best b/c it broadens your audience and simultaneously focuses your audience to those I think you are trying to reach.

    #1 is my least favorite because it limits people based on their own perception of whether or not they think they are spiritual. Also may come across as “elite.”

    Can’t wait to read and I REALLY want to win the Finding True Love book for my 16yr old!!! 🙂
    Thanks for all you do!!

  • I like the third one best, except I would add “just” to make it Reviving More than Just Your Sex Life. My least favorite is Exposing the Lure of Erotica. I wouldn’t even want to have a book that has Erotica in the title (even if it is the subtitle) on my bookshelf. From your description of the book, although expressing your concerns are part of it, the purpose seems to be “most importantly” offering a better way for women to make their sex lives better.

  • The subtitle I think may work best is “Pulling Back the Shades: Uncommon Answers To Your Sexual Longings” because I believe its a more positive title, but also because it sounds like the heart of what you’re writing.

    The subtitle that I personally like but think may not sell well is “Pulling Back the Shades: Exposing the Lure of Erotica”. Simply because many Christian women might not purchase a book with the word ‘erotica’ anywhere on the cover.

    Part of the issue with this subject is its very illicitness – Christian women just aren’t supposed to KNOW about this never mind talk or read about it. I am so grateful for your stand, for your efforts and your ministry. Praying for you always.

  • I like “Pulling Back the Shades: A Sexual Awakening For Spiritual Women” because it remind me of 1 Thessalonians 5:5-6- “For you are all children of light, children of the day. We are not of the night or of the darkness. So then let us not sleep, as others do, but let us keep AWAKE and be sober.” It’s sooooo easy to “fall asleep” in this area. But I know God’s calling this generation to awaken from their sleep, and learn truth in the light. I like the idea of waking up and exposing those lies!
    LEAST Favorite: “Pulling Back the Shades: Exposing the Lure of Erotica” because it sounds a little to complicated and I don’t think it will draw attention.

  • I think I might be slightly odd and in the minority here 🙂 But that’s okay. Here’s my thought.

    Favorite: Pulling Back the Shades: Spiritual Truth About Sexual Fiction

    I like this because it gives a potential reader a really good picture of what this book will be about and, therefore, I think draws the reader in.

    Least Favorite: Pulling Back the Shades: Exposing the Lure of Erotica

    I dislike this one because I think it gives the picture of a negative. If I am a christian woman who is struggling with the urge to read a book like 50 shades, I’m less likely to pick up a book with a decidedly negative view. Spiritual truth, however…much more inviting. I don’t know if that makes sense, I’m a sleep deprived mommy of 4 (including an 8 day old newborn), but that’s just my initial reaction 🙂

  • I like Spiritual Truth for Sexual Fiction because it deals with the bottom line, that it is the truth that sets us free from sexual bondage- not sexual bondage! And isn’t it true sexual freedom that women are after?

  • I forgot to mention my least favorite! My least favorite is Exposing the Lure of Erotica. If someone is sinning in the area of sexuality, they most likely don’t want there sin exposed, however, if someone is trapped in this sin and searching for a way out, IMO I think the word truth in the title will entice the reader to take a look!

  • I like all of them except the erotica one. The word just is too strong and vulgar, I wouldn’t want to read anything that described itself with that word. I would feel like I was reading porn just by that word in the title. Plus I would be embarrassed for anyone to SEE that word on a book I was reading.

  • SO LOVE that you are writing this! A couple of friends and I have discussed this often since you wrote your initial post and since a lot of our friends went a little nuts for the book. I agree with you, that the pull of the book is that it seems to stimulate sexual desire from within a woman that she didn’t realize she had. I totally get that, however, what reading these types of books does in the process definitely does more harm.

    In looking at your options of subtitles, I was initially drawn to the first “sexual awakening for spiritual women” because I believe that is what women reading these books are looking for. However, I think that somehow it may also push away a large part of the intended audience because there may be connotations of “spiritual women” that are misunderstood. Also, it makes the truth seem as though it is only for spiritual women, when I am certain that all women will benefit from your wealth of research and depth of understanding.

    I also like “exposing the lure of erotica.” Again, because I think, at least among my friends/family that have discussed having read 50 shades and their view on the genre, erotica is a “healthy way to get you going.” …Ahem… What I don’t necessarily like about this subtitle is saying “exposing” sounds like we are in some way shaming. If I know you and Dr. Juli and your approach based upon other titles you have written, that is the furthest from what will be said. I realize the intent is that drawing back the shades will bring light to the truth…but again, there is something a little off-putting about exposing. I am drawn to it, but I’m afraid others will feel like stones are being thrown.

    May I submit another option? What about something like, “Pulling Back the Shades: The Intimate Truth about Erotic Fiction” I get the impression that that the book will be about true sexual intimacy in marriage and what erotica does to that intimacy. I think something which shows those two things together would be a home run. I like that you used the word “erotica” and I think using it or a form of it is provocative and will pull in those that are trying to decipher whether that type of “literature” is in fact healthy or not.

    As far as my least favorite, I would say that “uncommon answers to your spiritual longings” sounds too vague and as though it will be a question/answer book. At least that’s my initial impression. I don’t think that is what you are going for, and for that reason, it seems initially misleading.

    Thanks, Dannah, for your commitment to challenging our culture and speaking the truth.

  • Okay – I know this may not be a popular opinion, but I like Pulling Back the Shades: Reviving more than your sex life or Pulling Back the Shades: Uncommon Answers To Your Sexual Longings. If you want to restrict your audience to women who are already born-again believers, then perhaps one of the first two titles would be best. But if you want to reach women who are seeking God but have serious questions about the role of sexuality in a Christian woman’s life, then I think you are more likely to accomplish that with these two titles I suggested. Again, it depends on your target audience. When I became a Christian in my 30s, I had a lot of questions about things like this and couldn’t find resources that I thought would be “acceptable” for me to read. After having been exposed to porn in my first marriage by my now ex-husband, the whole topic was difficult for me to talk about with other women. I knew porn was not the answer, but what was okay and what wasn’t? Again, it just depends on who you want to reach. I’m excited about what you are doing, Dannah, and love your ministry. Thanks for being a bold voice for purity!

  • I like #2 and #5. I think that they speak to the audience that you are trying to reach. I agree with the other women here. I have never and will never read 50 Shades of Gray. I don’t even want to open the door to be tempted by this book. It makes me sad that so many women are turning to it, instead of their husbands, to meet their needs.

  • Well after our little Disney Princess “Hannah Montana” AKA Miley Cyrus did her “thing” on MTV. Now I know MTV is not a great source of entertainment but saying that….nothing is sacred. Am tired of this Porn, advertisements are definitely over the top and in the middle of day. Recently saw a personal “toy” advertised on TV.. Was shocked about that also…Glad that you are taking a stand..

  • I like “Pulling Back the Shades: Exposing the Lure of Erotica” Modern society believe “porn and erotica” is safe to use. But not only does it expose you to unhealthy expectations but also lures you to fantasize about someone other than your spouse. This will give Christian women an opportunity to learn more about their sexuality without taking God out of the picture The one I like least is”Pulling Back the Shades: Uncommon Answers To Your Sexual Longings”.

  • I like the last one…”Spiritual Truth about Sexual Fiction”. Those books, and all other adult erotica, ARE fiction! Things like that don’t happen in our real lives yet women will try to seek those scenarios thinking they will have the same outcome. The TRUTH is what matters and what can bring our marriages back from a lack of sexual satisfaction.

  • I like the 2nd one best: exposing the lure of erotica, because it should appeal to women already seeking to revive their intimacy in their marriage but don’t know the truth yet.

    Least favorite:the last one, I personally would pick up the book but have several friends who are into 50 shades that would turn their nose up at it.

  • I like the first subtitle best, like one comment before, it gives a spiritual woman a sense of premission, plus, the word sexual is powerful as an attention grabber. Altho I also love spiritual truth about sex fiction because it is the truest statement. Or resonates with me but it sounds more informative, not like I’m going to actually use it.

    My least fave is reviving more than your sex life, not as catchy.

  • Favorite: Pulling Back the Shades: Exposing the Lure of Erotica. It puts it out there that yes, there is a lure trying to pull women into it.

    Least Favorite: Pulling Back the Shades: A Sexual Awakening For Spiritual Women. I think this one may narrow down your reading audience.

  • I like the third choice. I think that you would draw all women no just Christian with the first part of the title pulling back the shades. I also like the last choice bc so many women and young ladies struggle with fantasy thoughts that can lead to lusting and other bad habits as is noted in the blog. My least favorite is sexual awaking for the spiritual woman.
    It just sounds boring. So thankful the book is coming out though to many women and girls filling their minds with the wrong stuff to feel satisfied .

  • I like the first. I’ve seen many Christian women who struggle in this area and feel a bit of a loss at how to address intimacy.

    The fourth one is probably my least favorite, just because it is longer and wordy. Not as catchy.

    So thankful for your input in this topic, both for little and big girls!

  • I like the “Reviving your sex life” option. The first one sounds too “New Age-y”, and the rest sound too negative. The women that have read (or are tempted to read) these “Grey” books are obviously looking for some help in the bedroom. If the title implies “Don’t do this…” but doesn’t appear to offer a positive Christian alternative, they will pass it by. I know I would.

  • I like the last one: Pulling Back the Shades: Spiritual Truth About Sexual Fiction
    I think that many women feel that since it is just a book there is no harm in reading it, but we must discern everything we put into our minds.

  • My favorite is…Pulling Back the Shades: Spiritual Truth About Sexual Fiction. This just drew me in right away.

    My least favorite…Pulling Back the Shades: Exposing the Lure of Erotica. I do not like the term “erotica”. Makes me think of all things bad related to sex.

    Looking forward to the release of this book, no matter the title.

  • I think I like “Pulling Back the Shades: Exposing the Lure of Erotica” because it addresses the whole topic of the book “Fifty Shades of Gray” but does not limit its intended audience. While I like the names with “Spritual” in them for Christians, I think it limits the reading audience. Knowing that you are counteracting a more “negative” book with an alternative more “positive” outlook of the topic may bring others to read this and see why we as Christian women are so against “Fifty Shades of Gray” even though we haven’t read it. I am looking forward to your new book, and hope to recommend it to others.

    It is very sad that so many other things go to the “Fifty Shades” for their titles. It is so widely accepted and people are drawn to it just because of the name. Sad.

  • I like”reviving more than just your sex life”. I think that is catchy and will cause even non Christian women to read it. My least favorite is “uncommon answers to your sexual longings. It’s not something I think most women would pick up.

  • Title #2…Pulling Back the Shades: Exposing the Lure of Erotica, should be the title because this title recognizes the universal desire of erotica, for women as well as men, and that is why women have succumbed to the Fifty Shades mania. This new “clique” so to speak has ushered in a new revolution and I think the “Lure of Erotica” title is a perfect title to address that.

    Title #1…Pulling Back the Shades: Sexual Awakening for Spiritual Women, is my last choice as a title. This title sounds like a representation of new age material for women, which may or may not misrepresent the intended goal. In addition, this title does not clearly represent the intended goal.

    NO, I will not see the movie. I did not read the books. I know how dangerous erotica/porn can be even for women.

  • I dislike #1– the term “Spiritual Women” sounds too religious and will be off-putting to some.

    I do like #5– it sounds like the book will come from an intellectual standpoint, rather than judgmental.

    BTW, I read a few pages of the book this summer at a friend’s home and wish I hadn’t. I had absolutely no idea just how pornographic it was! I did a paper in high school about the consequences of porn– people don’t realize the ramifications of what they are reading/watching until it is too late.

  • I like “reviving more than your sex life” because it could plant seeds with those who aren’t Christian and God gave us sex as a wonderful gift. All peoples, Christian and non-, are likely to find that title one they might grab onto.

  • My favorite is “reviving more than your sex life” because I think it would hit a wide group of people. Maybe even those who are so engrossed in the FSOG series, for the simple fact that the title leaves you curious.
    My least favorite is the one about exposing Erotica, because those that might really need to read might be turned away.

  • I’m thinking that you should use the subtitle: Pulling back the shades: A Window to a Thousand Colors. 🙂 Otherwise I’m loving your: Pulling Back the Shades: Spiritual Truth About Sexual Fiction. Just because people can pervert God’s plan doesn’t mean sex isn’t spectacular within marriage! His way/truth is always more beautiful than anything that we can come up with. Why look at the world in black & white when the Lord gave us such a spectacular array of color & light? Looking forward to your Crazy Hair Tour!

  • The first subtitle is best. It caught my attention first and after reading the other ones, that is the one that stuck the most and one I would most likely read

  • I like “Pulling Back the Shades: Uncommon Answers to Your Sexual Longings”. We all know the common answer for our sexual longing is to turn somewhere we shouldn’t! But as women who desire to serve God we don’t know where to go when those desires are not being met. That’s why I think this subtitle would reach the largest group of women interested in finding godly answers to meeting these needs in a world that is full of stimulation!

  • My number one choice would be;
    Pulling Back the Shades: Exposing the Lure of Erotica.

    I would choose this option, because it invites the crowd that has been pulled in by “Fifty Shades of Grey” to read it.
    This subtitle would be best for a larger reading audience.

    While my last choice would be;
    Pulling Back the Shades: A Sexual Awakening For Spiritual Women.
    I am glad this is the concept of the book, but I don’t think it would draw the audience like the other options.

  • Favorite: Pulling Back the Shades: Reviving more than your sex life.
    Why? This book would/could more likely attract anyone in the world; Christian or Non. It would be great if it could be stocked RIGHT NEXT to the original “50 Shades” books, wouldn’t it? 🙂 (As well as other places in a book store)

    Least Favorite (but still like it): Pulling Back the Shades: Uncommon Answers To Your Sexual Longings
    Why? It sounds more like a Self Help book. (which isn’t all bad either)

  • I like 2 the best and 1 the least I believe 2 will reach a larger group of women who dont know you but are drawn by the title. Cant wait to read it:)

  • Like: Pulling Back the Shades: Exposing the Lure of Erotica

    I dig this because it’s saliently describes a day and age where gender bias is making strides like civil rights did in the ’60s: women are in politics more than ever. The subtitle embraces the idea of an equal sexual plane, erotica, on which men and women exist to please one another in a wholly sexual-spiritual way, hence the combination of the two reaching some sort of “other world” of intimacy.

    Dislike: Pulling Back the Shades: Uncommon Answers To Your Sexual Longings

    People need to understand that there is no “common” when it comes to sex I believe, so the first part kills it for me more than the “Answers to Your Sexual Longings.” Although, answers are rarely found in life, and while it is admiral to seek and try to answer them, it’s about the journey, not the destination

  • Favorite: Pulling Back the Shades: Reviving more than your sex life. (This just sounds like a more interesting book)

    Least favorite: Pulling Back the Shades: Uncommon Answers To Your Sexual Longings (This just doesn’t roll off my tongue easily)

  • You have described Pulling Back the Shades (I love this title btw) as “an alternative to revive your sex life” and “offers women a slower, steadier, but much more satisfying way to revive their sex lives.” A subtitle should enhance the title and give a clear purpose of your book (what a reader can expect to learn if they purchase and read your book) .

    Pulling Back the Shades: Spiritual Truth About Sexual Fiction enlightens previous readers (whether Christian or non-Christian) of the 50 Shades of Grey book that it was a fictionional offering based on humanistic half truths, thus their title of 50 Shades of Grey. Based on your description of the purpose of your book, this subtitle however does not convey it is going to offer alternatives to reviving sex lives but rather implies it is an expose of lies in sexual fictional writing. Pulling Back the Shades: Exposing the Lure of Erotica also implies the same.

    The subtitles of “Reviving more than your sex life” and “Uncommon Answers To Your Sexual Longings” do provide more insight of what one can expect to find in your book, but but are a little too blah for me.

    A Sexual Awakening For Spiritual Women, implies there is something wrong with the sexuality of Christian women.

    Although I have not read your book (or the other one for that matter), I am thinking you are going to focus more on sensuality rather than sexuality. Many people think the terms sensual and sexual are synonymous, but they are not. Sensuality focuses on using all of our God-given senses to enhance our natural sexual desires. I would suggest something along the lines of Pulling Back the Shades: Spiritual Truths for a Marriage of Everlasting Sensuality.

  • I think it kind of depends on what the whole point of the book is, whether it’s to warn about those kind of books or to actually help Christian women’s sex lives.

    I like “Pulling Back the Shades: A Sexual Awakening For Spiritual Women” because often in Christian circles women aren’t seen as sexual beings. The focus is usually on meeting a man’s needs or a woman being modest because a man might lust after her, etc. Something that was solidly biblical but would recognize that I am a woman with a sexual nature is something I would read. “Pulling Back the Shades: Uncommon Answers To Your Sexual Longings” is something I would read too…

    My least favorite is “Pulling Back the Shades: Exposing the Lure of Erotica” because I just wouldn’t read something that specific and I’ve never read something like 50 Shades of Grey. There’s just too many other books I want to read and I have a strong opposition to “emotional porn”.

  • I like Pulling Back the Shades: Exposing the Lure of Erotica because I think it will make women pick up the book for the same reason women would pick up 50 Shades of Grey. They want passionate intimacy! And that subtitle tells me the book would teach me how in my Christian marriage.

    I don’t like Pulling Back the Shades: Spiritual Truth About Sexual Fiction because it sounds like the book would only discuss why I shouldn’t read romance novels.

  • I think the best one is Pulling Back the Shades: Spiritual Truth About Sexual Fiction because I think as a whole (beyond just the 50 shades book) society shows women a very unrealistic portrayl of what it is like to have a fullfilling sexual relationship with someone. That in turn causes women to have expectations that a partner can not live up too. This subtitle really fits with what I think you are trying to convey and is a message that needs to be given to women.

    The worst subtitle is A sexual awakening for spiritual women because it seems like a step back to me. It reinforces the idea that “spiritual women” are supposed to be prim and proper and not really like sex. This title also impresses that with the purchase of your book, the spiritual woman can be reassured those that sex really is okay, fun, and enjoyable.

  • I like Pulling Back the Shades: Uncommon Answers To Your Sexual Longings . . . because I think it will grab the people who need the book the most. I’m guessing if this title offends the “prudish”, the “prudish” probably didn’t pick up 50 Shades either. Target audience?

  • I like “Exposing the Lure of Erotica.” I think it will attract women’s attention more then other subtitles. I believe it will attract the attention of even non-Christian women. I guess the least favorite if I had to say is “Spiritual Truth About Sexual Fiction.” I think women may think they’re going to be made to feel very guilty regardless of what the story is really about and would probably turn non-Christian women off of it.

  • The first two are favorite tied (intetesting/current needed topic)Least is reviving more than your sec life (blah, I wouldn’t pick it up). Looking forward to it!

  • This may be a dumb question, but …Who is the intended audience of this book? Those who like or dislike 50 Shades?

    As to subtitles (my initial thoughts before reading other comments) were:

    like: Pulling Back the Shades: Exposing the Lure of Erotica seemed the most tempting subtitle… a curiousity.

    dislike: Pulling Back the Shades: A Sexual Awakening For Spiritual Women (thought…. “I didn’t think spiritual women are sexually asleep or dead?… ) I thought of swapping it around to say A Spiritual Awakening For Sexual Women.

  • I prefer Reviving more than… or A Sexual Awakening…. because they are worded in the positive rather than negative. I think a lot of younger women (those targeted by 50 shades) would view the other titles as “judgemental” and would never pick them up to read. While the truth is the truth and we shouldn’t try to hide it, the fact is that you’ll only be preaching to the choir if the title turns off those who need it most.

  • I like

    Pulling Back the Shades: Reviving more than your sex life. because it will give us some insigt on getting the right stuff for helping us be better in the bedroom.

    I do not like

    Pulling Back the Shades: Exposing the Lure of Erotica

    Because it just sounds like you are condemming it . Which you are but it has a very negative tone.

  • Pulling Back the Shades: Spiritual Truth About Sexual Fiction…This is very well said subtitle.Fits right. Draws attention.

    Pulling Back the Shades: Uncommon Answers To Your Sexual Longings…not a catchy sub title. This is the least of my choice.

  • I like #2 and #3, but dislike #1. It sounds too broad. #2 and 3, also might pull in readers who would be turned off by a “christian” title. I think you’ll get more readers without mentioning spirituality right off the bat. And #2 also addresses those who view erotica as a totally acceptable way to rev up a sex life.

  • I like “Exposing the Lure of Erotica” ~ because many of us felt lured into reading this book (erotica), wanting to believe that it was really okay to do so.

    I dislike: “Uncommon Answers To Your Sexual Longings” ~ it sounds like I’m about to get scriptures quoted to me.

  • Pulling Back the Shades: Exposing the Lure of Erotica-is my favorite, it sparks my curiosity on the subject

    Pulling Back the Shades: Uncommon Answers To Your Sexual Longings is my least favorite, no other reason than it just doesn’t grasp my interest when I read it

  • I think it depends on your key audience. Are you aiming more at believers or unbelievers?

    In an earlier comment, someone made a point about the vagueness of “spirituality.” This can be a good or bad thing.

    I can tell you that (right or wrong) many of my Christian women friends would hesitate if they encountered a book with “erotica” in the tltle. As some have pointed out, it often has a negative or worldly connotation. As a result, they may just skip over the book, not bothering to browse further to see what it contains. For that reason, it is my least favorite.

    I think Josh Harris encountered this strong word issue with one of his books. After it’s first publication, he changed it to be much more specific (I don’t remember now, something with “lust” in it); but then ultimately ended up changing the title back to the original one. Like it or not, people are affected by the cover and title of books.

    Personally, I like Pulling Back the Shades: Spiritual Truth About Sexual Fiction because the book ultimately is a response to just that, even though it goes much deeper.

    (As a side note, would you ever consider a book on Christian romances? Just curious. They are often viewed as acceptable books, but as a middle/high school English teacher, I often see strong, negative influences with young girls who read them. Aside from building unrealistic expectations (which can often lead to idols in the heart), it also fills the girls’ minds more with romance than with God. Then again, perhaps that’s what your new book is about in Getting Lost in God.)

  • “Spiritual Truth about Sexual Fiction” This title is clear and indicative of what the books contains. The other titles seem to be using the “shock value” type of marketing that you are complaining about in the first place. Is it your goalsto “tempt” people into picking it up…appealing to the same fleshly nature that you are trying to combat? I think not.

  • Hello!
    Thank you for writing this much needed book. I was immediately drawn to “Exposing the Lure of Eurotica” but after some thought I realize that most women (especially Christian women) don’t view “mommy porn” as Eurotica or even porn but rather as a “pick-me-up” read that is harmless and unfortunately “helpful” for areas of their lives.

    May I suggest you call these subject by its popular name? How about : Pulling Back the Shades: The Dangers of Mommyporn”

    I think all women (secular and Christian) can relate to the word “danger” and no one would be embarrassed or judged as it is an educational tool rather than a “how to” or “you should be ashamed” feel – both of which I know is not your intent.

    The back cover can explain a little more about the spiritual warfare and how this book offers it’s own intimate-building ideas.

    No doubt it will be a great seller no matter what – this subject needs to be addressed.
    All my best

  • Dannah…I want to commend you for writing a counter-position to FSOG. I, too, have chosen NOT to read this book, because I was taught that our minds are gifts from the Lord, to be used for his glory…AND they are like computers that store information and images that can never be deleted. Why would I want to grieve my Lord and Savior who knows and sees my heart? For that very reason, I have also chosen to never see an “R” rated movie.

    Personally, I didn’t care for any of the sub titles, but truly liked the one that Elizabeth had mentioned…”Pulling Back The Shades …The Danger of Mommy Porn.” I like the word “Danger”, which most women can understand its connotation.

    Praying for you as your gather your thoughts together, along with Dr. Juli Slattery, to reveal the heart of God in matters of our sexuality. Praying, also, that it will be a best seller, for obvious reasons…the truth about our sexual “grey” matter isn’t so grey after all.

  • I like the first one because if a simple woman is wanting to find something interesting in a bookstore to read and she is a woman of God, she will see the title and will want to read about how Jesus could be in your marriage and the opportunity to see sex as a precious present to her husband.

  • Favorite: Uncommon answers to your sexual longings.

    As the higher drive spouse, I feel like I have sexual longings that the vast majority of Chriatian publications either don’t understand or don’t addess. Even the ones that do mention it are predictable. I already know the Sunday School answers; they just scratch the surface. I could easily see myself purchasing this book based on the title alone.

    Least favorite: Exposing the lure of erotica

    I already know what’s bad for my sex life. I feel no need to go over it again. I want to know what will improve it! This subtitle makes me feel like I already know what it’s going to say. It seems negative to me, like I’m going to get a scolding, and I don’t even read erotica!

  • Exposing the Lure of Erotica. I state this because many people are embracing worldly erotica without even knowing it. I think this book could be a tool that enables a persons eyes to be opened to the lure that draws a woman into embracing erotica (or other sin) that she has no idea about. This specific title grabs me and it would be a “safe” book to give to my friends who have read 50 shades.

  • I like Pulling Back the Shades: Exposing the Truth about Sexual Fiction because it’s a cute play on the 50 Shades of Grey title. Some of the other subtitles didn’t make it that the Shades in the title was referring to Shades of Grey. I think having a perfect sex life can become an idol like anything else so my second favorite was Reviving More Than Your Sex Life. I think sometimes we are looking again to God’s good gifts to replace the joy we should get from him.

  • First things First, Sex is not a NEED, its a WANT!.. Sex is a WANT by petty people.. All this ‘Sex’ talk is doing Nothing but Creating the NEXT CHILD MOLESTER!.. Our Eyes are to be Focused on Our Christ.. Every thing else pulls us Away from God!.. Iam 33 years old, and I have been pretty much ‘ABSTINENT’ for the Last 5 years.. I Encourage You ALL to become Abstinent, when You do, You will Realize how Special the Gift of Sex really is.. The Enemy of Satan is Destroying this Gift, for he is the Father of Lies.. and that is Satan’s First Lie to us, making People believe that we ‘NEED SEX’, when we ‘DO NOT’… I understand that a lot of Good People are going to Fall, I used to be one of them, but not anymore, because Christ has given me the ‘AUTHORITY’ over all the power of the enemy.. so I ask You, become the AUTHORITY over the power of the enemy.. become the Shepard, become the Authority.. Why are You all ‘Giving In’ when You have the Power right there Inside of You… Remember that… SEX IS NOT A NEED… and when you Overcome this First Lie of the Enemy, you will in fact be on you’re Way to Crushing Him!…

  • I don’t think sex is just a want and not a need. It was invented by the purest mind in the universe and gives intimacy within a marriage. We are instructed to come together and this can be the cement in a marriage enriching the relationship. Porn and immoral sex is something else. Nobody needs that.

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