What If I’ve Messed Up Sexually?

SEXUALPURITYweek1There’s a saying that goes like this: “every great love story ends in tragedy.” Consider Romeo and Juliet. They throw caution to the wind to be together and make easy, heart-defining choices to have secret moments of bliss against their family’s wishes. In the end, they commit suicide because their relationship is opposed. It’s an applauded classic love story, but where’s the sunset? Where’s the happily ever-after? And where’s their pulse? It’s not the kind of love story you want to have your name in it.

What kind of love story are you writing with your life?

My best-selling book And the Bride Wore White is full of what I call celebration stories. Some are stories of brides who never kissed before their wedding day and others are stories of brides who were sexually broken before they graduated highschool. How can they all be celebration stories?

Let me tell you!

Many Bible scholars believe that Satan prepares at least one anti-Christ for each generation. He, like you and me, does not know the time of Christ’s second coming. He can only read the times according to prophecy in books of the Bible like Daniel and Revelation. In order to be prepared, it is likely that he raises up one full of potential so that when the time is ripe, he can release this epitome of evil. Does it completely freak you out that at this very moment and on our very planet, he is nurturing one so evil that he will outdo all of history’s most evil rulers? No one—not Nero, Adolf Hitler, or Saddam Hussein—will be as evil as this one. Check out Titus 2:12-13, “God’s grace teaches us to say no to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly live in this present age.

Titus 2 Verse

This “present age” is not going to be an easy time. It will certainly not be easy to live out Biblical values—values that protect you—in those days. And as I’ll show you in the weeks to come—sexuality and marriage have precious, holy purposes in God’s kingdom. Satan hates them. And he will seek to seek to see them destroyed in the “present age.” In fact, the Bible says that in that age people will be “without love”, specifically without family love. Satan just wants to wipe it out. The love of husband and wife. Mother and father. Sons and daughters. Are we there yet?

I don’t know, but I know your story matters! Your love story matters. This verse does instruct us that only one thing will teach us to say “no” to ungodliness and worldly passions in that day. “God’s grace.” God’s riches at Christ’s expense. Maybe you’ve heard that acronym for Grace. It means I get what I don’t deserve.

Maybe you’ve written a beautiful love story with your life so far. You’ve embraced the pain of waiting and obeying God, your parents, and others who speak life into your heart. Oh, it has not been always easy, but your story is good. Did you know something? It’s not YOU who gets the credit. It’s God’s grace. God’s grace. Oh, that I could go back to be 15 years old and embrace that truth. I Corinthians 10:12 says “So If you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don’t fall!” If only I could embrace the humble truth that God was shielding me with his grace.

But then….I got proud and I stepped out from under his protection. Stepped away from his word and started writing my love story my way. I got my heart terribly broken. Is that you? Is your heart terribly broken by the very idea of love because of where you’ve gone? What you’ve done? What you’ve seen?

There’s hope for you.

James 5:16 says “confess your sins one to another that you may be healed.” Tell someone today, friend. The story is not over. Today’s the day you start writing a new love story. And it starts with confession. Go tell someone. God says that there is healing in it. Oh, how well I know that truth! You can stand on it. It’s firm. Telling your secret struggles to someone will set you free to start writing on fresh pages. In fact, I love how the book of II Corinthians says that the comfort God poured into me is no comfort I can pour in to others. You know what that is? You know what it is that I can have God’s comfort—his riches of comfort—even though I don’t deserve it?


No matter what your love life has looked like up to today, we stand on the same ground today. If you—precious girl who has walked in purity—can grasp on to the humility of God’s grace and you—precious girl who has had her heart broken by impurity—can grasp on to the healing of God’s grace…well then by the time this study is over we’ll all be well on our way to writing celebration stories together!

My best-selling book, And the Bride Wore White, has an eight part video series, leader’s guide and even companion guides to complete a full weekend retreat or an eight week bible study on purity.

For the month of July, our mother-daughter and retreat kits are 20% off using the code BRIDE20 here!

And the Bride Wore White video series with Dannah Gresh from dannahgresh on Vimeo.

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  • Will this book help with girls who have been molested or verbally abused? I know of some girls that feel like they are not worthy of a guy who maybe has saved their self for their future bride. If this book wouldn’t be for them can you direct me to one that would help them to know they are loved and still deserve the best. Thank you!

    • ALL of my books are written from the perspective that EVERY girl reading them has some level of healing to do in this broken world. I, myself, was wounded sexually as a fifteen year old. God would never let me write from anything but a grace perspective. That said, the issues of abuse are not specifically address. I recommend a book by Nicole Braddock Bromley, HUSH, if you want something direct.

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