Supermodel Christie Brinkley and husband Peter Cook (pictured at left) allegedly viewed pornography together “to get the mood going.” But then Brinkley found out that her husband was viewing porn to the tune of $3,000 a month, had an affair on-line and paid off a teen mistress to the tune of $300,000. What seemed to be fueling the fires of their marriage bed, turned out to ultimately burn down their home.
It doesn’t matter if you’re married or single, there are a lot of people using porn and erotica (written porn such as Fifty Shades of Grey). And many of them defend their choice. Married people say it stimulates their desire and draws them closer to their spouse. The unmarried claim that it relieves their sexual desire so they can control themselves. But growing evidence suggests that the risks are just too high.
AshleyMadison.com, an extramarital affair dating site, discovered a 50% boost in members confessing to indulging in bondage role play with lovers NOT husbands and wives, after reading Fifty Shades of Grey. They claim 62% of all new members signed up because they were interested in trying BDSM and feared their spouse would be shocked if they suggested it. This and other studies seem to suggest that the risk associated with any temporary increase in desire (or decrease for the unmarried) that comes from the use of erotica or porn may not be worth it.
My great concern is that the advent of Fifty Shades of Grey releasing in America is normalizing the use of erotica the way that the Internet normalized the use of porn for men. And, I’m certain that it’s going to harm more marriages and individuals than it’s going to help. I’m currently working on a project with Dr. Juli Slattery to examine the impact of erotica on women—both married and unmarried. And I’d like to hear your story if you have one. Please tell me —if you have chosen to use porn or erotica—what the impact has been in your life. I may contact you to hear your story first hand if I think it could help our investigation.